This week I gave Carla her final trip to the vet.
I had to make an appointment to euthanize her, so I knew Monday was her last walk by the creek, her last meal, her last day of rolling in the grass.
That morning, I gave her an extra dose of pain meds and an extra handfuls of treats. She splashed into the water as she fetched for the 1st time in weeks. We visited friends. We watched the sun set as she gnawed a beef bone.
After weeks of trying to manage her arthritis pain without success (the meds that managed her pain also gave her an ulcer, and the ones that didn't give her an ulcer, left her immobilized with pain), we had... One. Great. Day.
It made me think... if this was MY last September 22, how would I spend it? [Happy Equinox BTW!]
What if I had just 1 year to live? Would I do things differently?
It would mean that this would be my last Thanksgiving and Christmas and birthday. How would I choose to spend those days?
Living with an awareness of my own mortality (and the mortality of everyone I care for) puts how I choose to spend my precious time into a new light.
Saying I miss Carla is a gross understatement. But if she were here right now, she'd say... "Go do something fun Mama... and take me with you!"